


Hazy

by alwaysparis



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, First Love, Getting Together, High School, M/M, Pre-Canon, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-13 17:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17492420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysparis/pseuds/alwaysparis
Summary: A glimpse into Michael and Alex's relationship in high school.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The song "Hazy" belongs to the Counting Crows.
> 
> Thank you to my beta RachelEm for making my story better.

 

_Could you tell me why you're leaving?_  
_Cause I don't know why it has to be so._

 

Alex leans against the headboard, silently watching as he reaches down to zip up his jeans. Michael's searching for his shirt or his shoes or whatever; looking around the room – the floor, the desk chair in the corner, anywhere but him.   
   
It’s always the same – no matter how many times the scene repeats itself.   
   
Denial.    
   
Resistance.    
   
Surrender.    
   
Escape.    
   
_Avoidance._    
   
Alex wonders if they’ll ever break free of this vicious little circle in which they always seem to find themselves. And at the same time he can’t help but think he doesn’t have the right to wish for something he can’t give. 

It was easier when he knew he’d get to see him every day. But things are different now. Their encounters have become fewer, and farther between. They graduate today and they have their diverging plans and responsibilities. He'll be gone in a few days to start his service and Michael – well, he's not exactly sure what Michael will be doing after this, but Alex is sure he'll be long gone before he comes back. Michael is too smart for this town, he's gonna change the world.   
   
And it’s not like he cares or anything –    
   
Except he does.   
   
Because maybe _this_ is all he’ll ever get.   
   
Michael is fully dressed now and getting ready to leave and Alex feels so empty all of a sudden it takes his breath away. He continues to watch him as Michael searches for his wallet, still careful to avoid eye contact.    
   
Alex knows he’s about to disappear from his life without a word, and all he wants to do is ask him to stay. Because he can’t for the life of him remember why it has to be this way.   
   
“Mike…” he starts, but he doesn’t quite know what to say.    
   
So he lets his name trail on into silence as Michael looks him in the eye for the first time since he got up from the bed. And the expression in Michael’s eyes mirror his own.   
   
“Bye, Alex.” 


	2. In which Alex tries to brood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is having a shitty day, and why won’t people leave him alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my Beta RachelEm. You make this story better. :)

**Chapter 1**

_Months earlier_

Sitting with his back against the wall of the UFO museum parking lot as he strums his guitar at four o’clock on a Friday afternoon was most definitely not where Alex had planned to be when he woke up this morning.

He is supposed to be inside the Crashdown right now, having a burger and a milkshake, joking around with Maria and guilting Liz into getting them free fries for keeping her company during her shift. He is supposed to be studying for the SATs and working on college applications. He is supposed to be enjoying his senior year and fantasising about boys.

And he will be doing all of these things. But right now he just needs to be alone for a few moments to put the huge fight he had with his father this morning behind him.

It just feels like nothing he does will ever be good enough for his dad. All he wants to do is live his own life and play his guitar, but his father found him this morning with another lecture about enlisting. It is always the same. Manes men serve in the Air Force; Manes men defend our country; Manes men do something meaningful with their lives.

But Alex hears what is behind those words: he is not athletic enough; he is not strong enough; he is not manly enough. He can only imagine what his father would say if he knew just how true that last part actually was.

Alex is still playing his guitar when the backdoor to the museum slams closed and out comes Michael Guerin in all his furious glory.

Michael Guerin. Now there was someone he couldn’t quite figure out. The guy is obviously smart and driven, but there is a dangerous edge to him that gives Alex pause. He is ridiculously attractive – not that Alex would ever admit to that out loud, mind you – all hazel eyes and wild curls, but he is not exactly what Alex would call popular. In a small town where kids try to be as loud as possible to stand out and not be forgotten, Michael keeps to himself and seems uninterested in high school politics. Alex thinks he has only ever seen him talk to Isobel and Max Evans, who has a part-time job at the museum. Which might explain why Michael Guerin is storming out of the building, looking for the world like he’s about to murder someone.

And apparently Alex missed something during his interior monologue, because Michael Guerin is coming straight towards him.

“Don’t stop on my account,” says Michael as he stops and slides down next to him. Alex hadn’t even noticed his hand had frozen mid-chord, but he manages to collect his wits and plays the opening notes to a Third Eye Blind song.

Michael takes a few breaths, listening to Alex for a beat before continuing, “That’s a great song, but somehow I never manage to get the start quite right.”

“I didn’t know you played.” Alex’s surprise evident in his voice.

“Not many people do.”

And all of sudden Alex has something in common with Michael Guerin, of all people. They talk music for over an hour, and Alex teaches him how to play the intro to God of Wine. Alex realizes not many people get to see this side of Michael. The boy in front of him is engaging and interesting and seems to be hanging onto Alex’s every word. Guitar lesson finished, Michael offers the guitar back. Alex reaches for it, and he shivers when their fingers brush. He feels an ache in his heart where he knows he's seeing things that aren't there, wishing for things he can never have.

As the sun starts disappearing behind the buildings in front of them, Alex gets up to leave. He bends down to get his skateboard, and when he feels the sudden presence of Michael’s hand on his arm – he turns.

If Alex is surprised to feel the warmth of a hand of the side of his face, or the breeze of breath across his lips, his body doesn’t seem to get the message. Because he _wants_. And when Michael’s lips touch his, ever so gently at first, is feels so natural it’s like breathing.

And then his hands are dropping everything to the ground because nothing is more important than burying his hands in the curls in Michael’s head. Pulling him closer, melting his body into his.

They kiss for a long time. They kiss until his lips are raw and his heart is full and the sun is gone and the memory of this day is forever etched onto his soul.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are love.


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